Friday, August 15, 2008

HANG YOUR HEAD IN SHAME!!

Hopefully, you all enjoyed our first go-round of Friday themes. Sadly, we're done with party music, so it's time for a new Friday theme. This time it's... guilty pleasures. That's right, the stuff you listen to when no one's around, the stuff you pretend you hate but secretly love. The music that, when your friend finds it on your iPod, you're all redfaced and "I have no idea how that got there. My wife must have put it there!"

Since I believe in leading by example, I shall go first. All of these will actually be found on my hard drive, and in some cases, on my iPod. Heeeeeere we go.

Queensr├┐che: Sadly, they're probably best known for the soul-suckingly horrendous "Silent Lucidity," off of their "Empire" album. While the bizarre, fascist/political intrigue/hitman concept album Operation: Mindcrime is far from a classic (in fact, it's pretty terrible), when I was 14? That shit blew my mind. So... um... I still, you know, know all the lyrics. I've also been known to listen to it at alarmingly loud volumes in my car, and even rock out a little, despite it's gratuitous cheesetasticness. Ahem.



Christina Aguilera: I'm not proud of it, OK? She freaks me out, and she might actually be a cyborg. But damn if she doesn't have a serious voice on her. There's really only one song that I like, mainly because of the background music and in it. Here's an excellent live version of "Ain't No Other Man":



Mandy Moore: I'm killing myself here, aren't I? Fuck it, that's the point. OK, look: Mandy Moore is beautiful, and she's actually an excellent actor. She's also got a great voice, which I really realized in this song, "Umbrella," which is actually a (gulp!) Rihanna cover. The original kind of blows, but this version - give it a listen before you judge, you pricks:



Megadeth: There was a time when Megadeth fuckin' rawked.. I actually had a giant Megadeth patch on my denim jacket when I was 13 (that my (incredibly patient) mom sewed on for me, of course). I thought that they and Metallica were the coolest bands on the planet. I still have great affection for Dave Mustaine's weird, whiny voice. Here's "Holy Wars," featuring them in all their shirtless, tight-pantsed, metal glory. I've been known to throw my head around while listening to this... and perhaps toss up a goat horn or two.



Boston: Oh, fuck me. This is probably the reason fucking Itunes keeps recommending shitty classic rock albums to me. Look, it's not out of some sense of regional appreciation - I don't care that their name is Boston. I'm not that much of a local fanboy. I just... I just dig 'em. And not just "More Than a Feeling" and "Peace of Mind," either. I genuinely and unironically listen to the entire eponymous album (and sing at the top of my lungs. I get a lot of weird looks when I'm in the car). I can't help it. I'm a moth and Brad Delp is my flame. Here's what's easily the best track, "Let Me Take You Home Tonight," from a time when calling women "mama" wasn't weird or creepy at all.



Nuclear Assault: Speaking of throwin' up a goat... the worst of old-school speed metal. Seriously. They're awful. Up there with Testament, and yet... and yet, a few months ago I found myself trying to track down their old albums. God forgive me. Here's "Critical Mass," their sad effort to be environmentally conscious. Hey, at least I didn't pick "Hang the Pope."



I'd say I've shamed myself enough for one day... or lifetime.

14 comments:

Jez said...

Okay, this topic is going to truly suck for me because 1) I don't listen to pop music like Britney or Christina, and 2) I think that the Megadeth and Nuclear Assault selections are actually, um, pretty stand-up. I mean, I'm going to be discussing the Scorpions, for chrissakes! Nuclear Assaults "Game Over" and "The Plague" LPs are great. You'll die of the plague! What was the last Megadeth song on either thier first or second album (I think it was the second one) where it goes, "You're the next victim, you're next to die!" I STILL love that tune!

Boo said...

I have to actually say 'FUCK YEAH' to all of these selections TK. Guilty pleasures: yes. Worthy of love: yes.

And I love you even more for your love of Mandy Moore. I have a completely unexplainable crush on her. But you probably already know that.

Dustin said...

Guilty pleasure or not, you get no free pass from me for Many Moore. Crazy hot, yes. Musically talented? Dude.

Queensryche? Brother killed a brother for the profit of another. Game point, nobody wins.

Operation Mindcrime was like the Tolkien of Heavy Metal. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Hang that head, buddy.

TK said...

Jez - I don't listen to them either, I swear. I just like THAT ONE SONG!! Crap.

Boo - see, this is why you rock. And stupid Dustin can suck it.

kelsi said...

you are a brave man, sir. leading by example will get you far in life.

really, though. excellent guilty pleasures, tk. while i get no joy from christina aguilera or mandy moore, i have plenty that make me hang my head. so i can share in the misery of the glee.
and see, though, jez, there's probably something that you're not overly proud of on your music-listening-device. it could be schubert sonatas. it could be diamanda galas.
just give in to the schadenfreude of it all.
wheeee!

Felicia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Felicia said...

MANDY MOORE?? And you shit on me for En Vogue??

Lux said...

Awesome idea... There is a lot of music I'd call "uncharacteristic" for "unexpected" for me to listen to but not necessaarily shameful (like Andrea Bocelli and Aaliyah)...but I can list a few things that make me blush a little when admitting that I actually enjoy them.

My Playlist of Shame would include:
-Mariah Carey
-Korn
-30 Seconds to Mars
-Christina Aguilera
-Third Eye Blind

So...I guess I should go put my head on the floor for those

David said...

Everytime Christina Aguilera "sings", an angel gets pulled through a jet turbine.

True story. It's because she doesn't sing, she yells, so the angel can't hear the jet coming.

Get it? Yeah, I'm clever.

slouchmonkey said...

Thank you Lux!

Third Eye Blind. Something about those 90's pop rock bands. (a potential post, here?)

Toad the Wet Sprocket
Third Eye Blind
Gin Blossoms

Sadly, I used to call it "bro" rock because I f-ckin hated it and now I hear it and seek it out sometimes.

I'm done.

AlwaysConfused said...

I love Silent Lucidity. And Justin Timberlake's Rock Your Body.

Anonymous said...

1. I don't want to live in a world where loving "Operation: Mindcrime" and "Empire" is wrong.

2. Say what you want about Aguilera, but she can pretty much out sing whoever the hater is going to say is a better female artist. As long as her people pass her along good songs, she's going to be around.

3. Mandy Moore had me at the "Candy" video. Been a closest observer since. Really wished she could do songwriting better on her own versus using so many of other people's castoffs. A really good cover considering what she was given.

4. Since I listened to Metallica so much, it was hard not to know about Megadeath. I think my eternal problem with them was they could have easily been called "Imitating the band I wished I was really in." Dude, seriously let go.

5. Here's my problem with Boston. I swear classic rock stations think the world evolves around Boston and must play them once per hour. I have done some 3rd shifts and listened to a classic rock station. I lost count of Boston song's played as where I recall hearing Bruce once in a week. Seriously, Boston isn't THAT much more important than the Boss.

Lainey said...

There is *nothing* wrong with loving Queensryche! Mindcrime is still my go-to when I'm having a shitastic day and need to just be numb...

30 Seconds to Mars - God help me, I love that little Leto prick!

Katy Perry - getting caught by a car full of teenagers while rocking out to "I Kissed a Girl" is somewhat embarassing when you're pushing 40.

Good Charlotte - I have nothing to say in my defense on this. There is no defense.

None of my friends know about my guilty pleasures and I'm hoping to keep it that way. It feels good to lighten my load here.
Thanks, TK.

FabMax said...

Queensryche? Wow! That's... awful. *g*

My guilty pleasure would include David Hasslehoff. Yeah, I admit it, I had two of his albums when I was 12 or 13 or so. Don't listen to him now, though, so I don't know if this counts.

Milli Vanilli: From the same period, but I still think it's nice pop music, even though the two bastards on the cover never sang a note on the record.

I was a huge Queen fan in my late teens, and drove my friends nuts with it.

That's the worst. I have a few minor things like 2 Live albums, two from Creed (I couldn't stand Vedder's tremolo, so they were the next best thing), two Everlast records, one by Nickleback (the first one), Incubus (not the first one), Santana, Die Happy (search for them, they're awful), and a lot of other stuff.


Oh, I thought of a real one: Subway to Sally, a german folk metal band. They had one good album and went down in quality after it. I still listen to them.

And I'm a sucker for good cover versions, so thank you for Many Moore.