Sunday is gloomy, the hours are slumberless

I don't really want to kill myself. At least, not yet. But we have all thought what it would be like; the morbid mind game of choosing an end for oneself. And we all probably know someone that, if not succeeded, has at least attempted it; surely it is not a joking matter.

We all have that dark place. When I go to that dark place, I listen to the music that reflects my inner gloom. Only some of these song are about suicide, but they are all songs that I gravitate towards when I'm low; they are the ones with the most impact for me. A few might be cliche—hell, one is even straight up cheesy—but they all touch something in me, something that I rarely let anyone else see, much less touch. I let this music touch me so that I don't feel so alone in that dark place. So that I can feel like life is worth living.


Gloomy Sunday (Reszo Seress), covered by Bjork
Bjork can really tear me to pieces (see Dancer in the Dark). Hearing her sing these lyrics with that passionate pain behind her voice, I imagine that she feels every word; they aren't just lyrics for her, she lives the words as they emit from her soul.




Fade to Black (Metallica), covered by Apocalyptica
The cello is by far my favorite instrument for its ability to pull from me a feeling of loss. It's tone vibrates deep within, and when you combine this resonant sound with Metallica, well, it's an amazing product of raw emotion.




Hurt (Trent Reznor), covered by Johnny Cash
Oh Jesus. Just watching this video puts me on the edge. Cash's eyes are filled with memory, loss, and pain. If you can't relate to this song, then you have had a far happier life than 99% of the rest of the world.




Needle in the Hay (Elliott Smith), covered by Kermit the Frog
It is almost too much for me to listen to Elliott sing this song, especially considering that he did commit suicide, and in a way far too brutal for me to imagine. So I give you Sad Kermit, which in all honestly isn't that much better. But at least he's just a puppet.




Fire and Rain James Taylor
If I need to have a good cry, I start singing this song. Inevitably, I break down through the second line.




Mad World (Tears for Fears), covered by Gary Jules
This heartbreaking rendition reaches directly to the emotion that I believe the original writers were seeking, but couldn't quite attain with their style.




Everybody Hurts R.E.M
Granted, a cliche. But it is a cliche for a reason. Everybody does hurt.




At Least That's What You Said Wilco
Not quite a typically sad, suicidal song, but I hear such pain when I hear this. It is almost an anthem.




Lived In Bars Cat Power
This video brightens the tone of this song tremendously, because I feel it much more strongly with my earphones on and my eyes closed.




Roads Portishead
Ah, I can't begin to express what this song does to me. I love it so so so much. But again, if I need to cry, I just start singing it.




Fly Away Poe
This is pretty much the dedicated song to anyone that dies. Enough said.




Trouble Cat Stevens
A sad enough song if you have seen Harold and Maude, and an excellent song to listen to while driving around at night with nowhere to go.



Other songs for when I'm down:

Everything is Free, Gillian Welch
With or Without You, U2
Angel, Sarah McLaughlin (cheese, I know)
Wild is the Wind, Nina Simone
I Don't Like Mondays, Tori Amos
Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd
Bang Bang, Nancy Sinatra
Yesterday, The Beatles
Disarm, Smashing Pumpkins
Wanting Memories, Sweet Honey in the Rock
I See a Darkness, Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
Back to Black, Amy Winehouse
Are You There, Anathema
Another Little Hole, Aqualung
Cup of Coffee, Garbage
Danny Boy