Wednesday, September 3, 2008

warp into monster disco hell

in may of 2006, i went to one of the many weekly meetings (budgetary! staffing! special events! employee review!) at the music venue where i was a club manager and the talent buyer pulled me aside and said "oh my god, kelsi, you have to hear these guys who won the eurovision contest."

and i was like, "eurovision contest? double-you tee eff? also, i am hungover like a bitch." because that's kind of the sort of job that it was.

a little google action later, i found out that he was referring to lordi.


i have always been a bit of a sucker for the show. now, i may tell you that i'm not such a fan of, oh, say gwar. or children of bodom. or motorhead. but ask me about the best shows i saw during my tenure at that nightclub, and those are the kinds of names that will come up. and if there's one thing you can say about lordi, it's that they appreciate the finer points of showmanship.
so, anyway. in those dark days of 2006, itunes was like "lord-who? finnish you say? huh. never heard of them." so i resorted to some ahemfilesharing and was exposed to some of the most glorious rawk that has ever been.
this is not music for lovin'. this is not music for thinkin'. nor readin', nor anything else for which you might want a musical backdrop. this is monster rock, and it requires your full attention.

for your listening pleasure, some of my favorite lordi selections:
would you love a monsterman:
i think they do everything right in this video. it's satire so deep that it takes itself seriously. good stuff. and for fuck's sake, check out the shoes on mr. lordi in this video. stick with this one, it gets really good in the last minute or so.

devil is a loser:
the devil is a loser and he's my bitch. need we say more?

and finally, get heavy:
this is a not awesome video of my favorite lordi song.
this, my friends, is a fucking show:

i challenge you to sit through those songs and not feel the slightest urge to throw a goat. you know you want to. don't worry, no one's looking. and i won't tell.


Chele said...

oh yes Lordi, oh yes euro vision, I was living in Scandinavia the year they won and I must say they sort of kick ass at what they do. whatever it is, its like Jack Black and Marilyn Mansons lovechild, but a band.

Capn Gravy said...

I was in Helsinki the night Lordi won the Eurovision contest -- that night every Finn was a Lordi fan, and the girls were monstrously exuberant! The Finns' foul black licorice vodka was passed around like KoolAid and there was much rejoicing in the streets. I went from never having heard about these guys to seeing them everywhere for the next few days, on all the magazine and newspaper stands, and kids running around inh Lordi masks topped off with laplander caps. Crazy Finns!

Anonymous said...

I fucking love Lordi. This kind of music is so unappreciated in Australia. They are gos among men, nay, gods among monsters.

Keep on rocking. MONSTER SQUAD ATTACK!