Friday, September 19, 2008

lost like a slave that no man could free

ok. my turn! i've been gleefully waiting to talk about my most shameful, dark, guilty music pleasures... but now that it's here, i'm hesitant. what's worth sharing? what's actually not that bad?
i think my deepest shames come in the form of pop music. not britney-christina pop, because seriously, that's not even enjoyable. i'm doing a show right now that uses a song off the new britney album in which she namechecks herself. i think that's just retarded.
so. ahem. anyway. pop music.
well. i'm probably not going to do this story justice, but there was an ad on t.v. a couple of years ago for some service verizon offered having to do with phones that were also music players. (gosh! remember when that was new and innovative?) anyway, there was one that involved a really femme guy working out at the gym, listening to his music, and then he came over and made us listen to his music for a while and then he said "oh, bro, gotta go, that's my lady!" because his phone was ringing. and his lady was calling.
and my roommate and i watched this ad and were both in agreement: there is no way that a dude listening to that song likes ladies.
not that there's anything wrong with homosexuality. not at all. more that there's a severe cognitive dissonance between the hardcore straight dude verizon was trying to play and someone who would listen to this song while, uh, pumping iron. or doing anything, for that matter.
in any case, as that roommate also pointed out "the fat kid with glasses sure can sing." (his words! not mine!) and it's true. he really, really can.
fallout boy - this ain't a scene

it's not totally shocking that some of my deepest, guiltiest musical pleasures have come to me through different media than the songs that i can listen to and still respect myself in the morning. the guilty pleasures often come by way of radio play, or television, or a snatch of something heard (for fuck's sake!) over a public sound system somewhere.
if it weren't for the fact that i lived in a co-op with cable my last year in college, and that cable happened to have an east coast satellite feed, i would never have sat up half the night every night with denieal watching late night music videos on a bastion of "edgy pop" called insomniac music theatre. it was so bad. we knew it was bad. and yet, this is still on my ipod. and i listen to it more than i should admit. this is definitely the worst example of pitch-corrected, automated, boppy pop of which i'm guilty.

the corrs - breathless

then there's this. i had never watched any of their videos before doing this post, but i've been listening to their music for years. now that i've watched some videos, i'm kind of squirming. but trust me - this is the sexiest violin quartet ever. the question is, is this a good thing? suddenly, i'm not so sure. (or maybe it's just the extreme embarrassment of sharing how much i enjoy this group...) (also, don't you think it would be really hard to play your instrument with all those wind machines?)

ok. we've gotten as far out as i'm willing to go. if you're still with me, it either means you really like me (hi, ma!) or you have a really deep sense of schadenfreude. i'm going with the latter.
so, in order to justify you sticking around this long, i'm going to give you some actual good ones.

all of my dear, talented musician friends have a fetish that i couldn't understand for the longest time. steely dan. i didn't get it. why would a young, attractive female jazz singer groove on steely dan? why would a successful, creative, interesting percussionist listen to music meant for my dad?
so i listened, and i listened, and i listened and suddenly, one day, i realized: i had become like them. steely dan is a musician's band, made up of consummate musicians (in whichever incarnation) playing for musicians.
that doesn't mean i'm not going to totally skip these tracks if we're listening to music together.
steely dan - peg

the next song is another one that if someone gets in your car and this is on, you probably dart to change to the radio before they notice that you're not only listening to tom jones, but you're listening to tom jones sing about killing someone. oh, ha ha! you say brightly. i don't know what that was! some crap!
but it's not crap. you love it. and as soon as you get rid of the person in your passenger seat, you're going to put it back on and listen to the rest. and by "you," of course, i mean "i."

tom jones - delilah

you especially don't want anyone to catch you singing along while you're cleaning your apartment, no no, you really don't.
ahem. so. i feel like now i have to come up with something really alternative and cred-filled to wash away this shame. but you know what? it's kind of fun to wallow a bit.

look at that welsh man go!


Jez said...

I love Steely Dan. I kind of liked that Fall Out Boy song, too. I might have to check them out.

But that Tom Jones stuff? That will have to go...

Lucas said...

Why don't you capitalize anything?


i have bought (& traded in) that best of steely dan CD quite a few times over the years. i'm still torn.... i think i dislike it, but some part of me is reminded of my childhood since they were played on FM radio constantly.

billy joel is a total guilty pleasure & hold over from childhood. my first album purchase (2nd grade) was his "52nd street". wow, i'm old... anyways, the music doesn't hold up well at all, but i still love it.

my guiltiest pleasure has to be counting crows. i love every album and even think adam duritz is kinda cute. as i type this, my face is turning red and i feel a little nauseous.

it's even "guiltier" since my husband forced me to watch some A&E sunday morning show that the counting crows were playing live on. duritz does extensive improvised monolgues during songs, changes lyrics or repeats them over and over, all the while staring directly into the camera.

horrible....really horrible...

p.s. lucas- caps are for suckers, just ask e.e. cummings!