Showing posts with label hate mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hate mail. Show all posts

Thursday, October 16, 2008

hate / love: some shit happened and now some other shit is going to happen. heavy.

dear pink,
please. effing. stop it.



well, the posing is fine. i really couldn't care less about the posing. you sure do spend a lot of time at the gym though, don't you? wow. actually, i'm talking about this song, so what. you see, my co-worker listens to pop radio, and that song is played roughly every fifteen minutes. you must be raking in so much cash right now. (which is probably good for you, since you haven't had a hit in, what, 8 years?) however, just because a song is played every fifteen minutes doesn't mean it's any good. just because a song plays over and over in my head when i go home after work doesn't mean it's any good. it may be an effective pop song, but it is seriously obnoxious. so stop.

love (not really,)
me

really, though, i'm not joking even a little bit. so what has showed up in my dreams, will play in my head when i'm trying to sleep, i find myself humming it on the subway... and i hate it.
for those readers who can't watch youtube at the moment (what, your job expects you to do work while you're getting paid? ridiculous!), here is a sample of the lyrics:

na na na na na na na
na na na na na na
na na na na na na na
na na na na na na
i guess i just lost my husband
i don't know where he went
so i'm gonna drink my money
i'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
i got a brand new attitude
and i'm gonna wear it tonight
i wanna get in trouble
i wanna start a fight


na na na na na na na
i wanna start a fight
na na na na na na na
i wanna start a fight

this is a perfect example of what i think of as the "some shit happened and now some other shit is going to happen" song. however. other bands have done it better, and, in light of their accomplishments (perfection!) i don't really think that pink should have even tried.

in the loooooooooove category, may i suggest:

kaiser chiefs - i predict a riot

this song is apparently responsible for me breezing right past two friends in the train station - i was that caught up in rocking out to it on the pod. i have it on fairly constant heavy rotation, and have had it that way for years. it's irresistible, catchy without being poppy, and a whole fricking lot of fun.

and the ultimate best of the best of the sshansosigth genre (and also, seriously? one of the best videos ever.) is of course...

ok go - here it goes again



i've spent quite a bit of time this past week trying to figure out what differentiates pink's version from these other two. they all have repetitive, silly lyrics. lots of major chords, augmented by a diminished here and there to feel "edgy."
i've come to the conclusion that it's two things, primarily:
1) real instruments / no vocal correction
and
2) actual soul
i didn't really think that i'd ever say that ok go was soulful, but in light of this development, that's what i'm going to have to conclude.
i am, however, willing to admit that my conclusions may be silly. does anyone have a better take?
also, does anyone have a way to get pink's version out of my head?
gah.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Open letters to bands/artists that make me wish I was never born








Dear Creed,

You are, and always will be, the band I love to hate the most. Ever. You remind me that human beings make horrible choices in life. One of them being the creation of this band, and another being actually liking your music. You had a pompous shit-show for a lead singer who insisted on over enunciating every lyric that flew out of his mouth. Oh yeah, and he likes to beat up on his wife. I thank whatever power it was that broke you up. Unfortunately, your music lives on.

Dear Nickelback,

You rank right up there with Creed, and that’s not a good thing. Your soft rock that you try to pass off as real rock is a shame, and your lead singer’s voice sounds like he just ate gravel for breakfast. He also makes me wish I was rolling Hellen Keller style. I’m not sure why so many people find your band appealing, but hopefully it doesn’t last too long.

Dear Shaggy and/or Sean Paul (they are basically the same person),

Stop pretending you are from the Carribean and stop singing in a made-up cartoon voices. Your (Sean Paul) music makes young girls have seizures, true story, and you are a nuisance to the music world.

Dear Akon,

I don’t like it when I’m listening to a song and think to myself, “Did this guy lose his nuts somewhere?” I’m not digging your nasally woman voice and it’s not cool that you recreate sexual acts with 14-year-olds on stage.


None of you deserve the punishment of having to watch videos of these artists on this blog, so instead I will leave you with an instant classic courtesy of The Soup. Enjoy.