in may of 2006, i went to one of the many weekly meetings (budgetary! staffing! special events! employee review!) at the music venue where i was a club manager and the talent buyer pulled me aside and said "oh my god, kelsi, you have to hear these guys who won the eurovision contest."
and i was like, "eurovision contest? double-you tee eff? also, i am hungover like a bitch." because that's kind of the sort of job that it was.
a little google action later, i found out that he was referring to lordi.
behold:
i have always been a bit of a sucker for the show. now, i may tell you that i'm not such a fan of, oh, say gwar. or children of bodom. or motorhead. but ask me about the best shows i saw during my tenure at that nightclub, and those are the kinds of names that will come up. and if there's one thing you can say about lordi, it's that they appreciate the finer points of showmanship. so, anyway. in those dark days of 2006, itunes was like "lord-who? finnish you say? huh. never heard of them." so i resorted to some ahemfilesharing and was exposed to some of the most glorious rawk that has ever been. this is not music for lovin'. this is not music for thinkin'. nor readin', nor anything else for which you might want a musical backdrop. this is monster rock, and it requires your full attention.
for your listening pleasure, some of my favorite lordi selections: would you love a monsterman: i think they do everything right in this video. it's satire so deep that it takes itself seriously. good stuff. and for fuck's sake, check out the shoes on mr. lordi in this video. stick with this one, it gets really good in the last minute or so.
devil is a loser: the devil is a loser and he's my bitch. need we say more?
and finally, get heavy: this is a not awesome video of my favorite lordi song. this, my friends, is a fucking show:
i challenge you to sit through those songs and not feel the slightest urge to throw a goat. you know you want to. don't worry, no one's looking. and i won't tell.
Hip hop is certainly misunderstood and often poorly represented, but no other genre elicits a yucky face more than Metal, unless you are a self-proclaimed "metal head." Metal is like shrimp, y'all: You've got your Goth Metal, Glam Metal, Grunge Metal, Grindcore, New Metal, Thrash Metal, Power Metal, Groove Metal, Speed Metal, Hair Metal, and Stoner Metal. Fuck, there is even something called Folk Metal! (Here, for your listening...something, is Skyforger. I admit, I kinda love it.) And this doesn't even begin to cover all of the fusion genres: Crustpunk, Grunge, Industrial, Christian Metal, Metalcore, Neo-Classical Metal, and Sludge Metal. Just like any other under-appreciated / overgeneralized genre, metal has its good and its bads.
Metal has also gone under an extreme transformation since it began in the 60s (or, at least, what would be the roots of metal began in the 60s). I mean, would we really call the "hair bands" metal nowadays? No, not really. Which is why they have their own subgenre. It isn't hard to find some amazing metal music now, but it is quite tough to shift through a lot of the shit. Everyone lays claim to the "metal" genre, but there are just as many definitions of that as there are bands. (But that's why we're here...)
I'm sorry, but Creed? SO NOT METAL. Limp Bizkit? Not only NOT METAL, but also sport the worst "weird spelling" (and I'm being nice here) of the word 'biscuit' that I've ever encountered. (Now if only Hanson would attempt it; then I would have a valid reason to initiate Operation Bloodrayne. Oh, it will be so beautiful...)
Ahem.
So, along with my metal-addicted husband, we have created two play lists. One is for those new to the "goat" and in need a little edu-macation, and the other is for the true metal fan that might be looking for some new listens.
So first up, let me present some of my picks for Metal 'Mersion. Disclaimer here: I will say that I am extremely picky about the metal music I listen to; for me, I need some kind of melody or strong note line to follow--not just endless chord pounding, although I do appreciate its unique nature--and I must have technical dexterity. I mean, we must admit that playing metal guitar is a lot like showing off; if you are going down that road anyway, you better fucking mean it, and you better be fucking good. Shred it.
This first play list is a small gathering of very easy-to-listen-to metal-type music--don't expect dragon slaying--but ultimately they are fantastic musicians and worthy of a listen.
Boo's Metal-Lite for the Weak-Kneed:
Dax Riggs (formerly of Acid Bath and a bajillion other projects) check out: Living is Suicide, from We Only Sing of Blood or Love
Explosions in the Sky check out: A Poor Man's Memory, from Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Live Forever
Isis check out: Backlit, from Panopticon
Life of Agony check out: Wicked Ways, from Broken Valley
Wolfmother (Oh yeah, I went there.) check out: Joker & the Thief, from WolfMother
Pelican check out: Sirius, from The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon the Thaw
Metallica check out: One, from ...And Justice For All (I know they are assholes now, but they weren't always, and this is truly an anthem. Those opening lines are just...fantastic. And then they kick your balls in with the build up. Ok, I'm done.)
Between the Buried and Me check out: Prequel to the Sequel, from Colors (This is my local metal plug. Yay for NC metal boys! And a video to entice. Note the hilarious pop ups from the video's producer. And yes, this is a long ass song, but worth the ticket price--especially the 5:16 mark.)
And now over to the man---the one and only person that could possibly inhabit the same sphere as me for as long as he has--the oil in my truffle, the Trent to my Tori, the Sid to my Nancy; my man: the Mister....
Boo's Metal Husband posting here: Second playlist is for the tried and true, those whose blood is black, those who have seen Slayer on their Seasons in the Abyss tour and ingested a few thousand metal albums! Most of the music is listened to in my studio/woodworking shop and in transit, riding around in the crazy silver she-beast! Enjoy... and please clean up after yourselves.
The Sword: Age of Winters (Kemado Records) evokes the true essence of Black Sabbath, check out "Winters Wolves." Ouch! Listen for the howling... and watch for them on tour with Clutch!
Torche: Meanderthal (Hydrahead Records) This stuff crushes, like Foo Fighters wrestling with Isis. The songs are all over the place but every one is good.
Neurosis: Through Silver in Blood (Relapse Records) and Given to the Rising (Neurot Recordings) these guys are everpresent and constantly revolving in my life... Given is the next step in the hallowed library of music that Neurosis has created and bestowed upon humanity.
The Melvins: Houdini ( Atlantic. 1993) The true alternative are touring again... these muthafukas are badass! And the drumming is phenom... thanks Dale.
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy: new and old, Lie Down In the Light, The Letting Go and I See a Darkness this man helps to balance all of the seething metal oozing through my veins... this may not be heavy, but it is really fucking heavy!
Acid Bath: Pagan Terrorism Tactics (Rotten Records) You must know all the lyrics of this sick sick sick album for it to work on you! Dax Riggs and Sammy St. Pierre Duet slay with their interlacing vocals.
This playlist is always evolving.... and always heavy.
I wish I was born 20 years earlier... ahhhhh, consumed by distortion. Now back to Boo...
Alright people: Disperse and destroy. Never surrender. And most importantly...
