Quick Cuts: Bowie's in Space

From the hilariously awesome "Flight of the Conchords:" Bowie's In Space

if you don't want a woman who drinks, don't pick up women in bars.

apparently, i'm kind of weak for low brass - because when i went to hear guy forsyth at rodeo bar, and the bass player (will landon) walked into the room with a sousaphone, i got all giddy.
not that i wasn't already a little on the giddy side - i blame the giant prickly pear margarita that i downed with dinner. also maybe a stella. or two. the combination of sugar and booze always makes me d-r-o-o-n-k crunked, so i may have been feeling a little silly.
anyway, my presence at this show was all based on an impulse that i couldn't define. i googled "honky-tonk" one day at work (yes, i have a Big Important Job which allows me pleeeeeenty of time to google whatever crosses my mind), which led me to the rodeo bar calendar, which, after a quick google chat exchange with one of my most trusted music advisers, led me (with music adviser in tow) to hear guy forsyth that friday.
they started out doing some pretty standard, four-on-the-floor guitar-bass-kit tin pan alley fusion action. it was fun, catchy, a little bit bluesy, a little bit rock and roll. but not gripping. there were a few folks at the table in front of us who were clearly bigol'giant guy forsyth groupies, but in those first three songs, there was little to show me why such a thing would exist.
it was nice. but it wasn't a revelation. i even leaned across the table at one point to mutter something derogatory about rob hooper, the fairly unexciting drummer. (don't worry. he lived to redeem himself as a percussionist. boy howdy, did he ever.)
then, after three songs, guy pulled out a little blue plastic ukulele, the bass player picked up the sousaphone and the drummer moved to cajun.
oh. my. fucking. god.
you know that surge of excitement when you are listening to really excellent musicians hit their stride, enthusiastically playing music they love?
yeah.
that.guy forsyth has this... voice. it does everything a voice should do to this style of music. it pets, purrs, howls, caresses, jabs and retreats, only to come wailing back again.
despite lulling me into complacency with the beginning of their set, these fellas totally knocked me on my ass with intelligent, modern, fun, high-intensity music tinged with notes from all walks of american music. they have an album called "unrepentant schizophrenic americana" - and that's exactly what it is.
it. is. fantastic.
and i swear on a stack of bibles that i'm not just saying that because after the ukulele, guy broke out the harmonica and proceeded to rock that. and then he pulled out the saw and proceeded to rock that even harder. i mean, i have a bit of a weird instrument fetish, but it still takes a good musician to make the weird instruments work. (yes, harmonica qualifies as weird.)
there is nothing on youtube that does these guys justice. and while i'm often all about the free illegal download, this is one of those cases where buying the cd from the artist actually supports the artist - so if schizophrenic americana appeals to you, i heartily suggest you consider doing just that.
even more, i'd suggest keeping an eye out for when they might be in your area and then heading down to that there watering hole. because this is definitely a band that should be experienced, as much as heard.

You owe me a scream

"It's an art form unto itself," I once said to Ervie a few months ago. Ervie, bless his goofy heart, agreed that while it's not his thing, it certainly is a special talent.

I speak of screaming, of course.

There are many things that Mrs. TK and I don't agree on: Olives, for example. I've yet to be able to get her to see the genius of Big Trouble in Little China. She doesn't get my addiction to t-shirts. I don't get her addiction to furniture. I can't handle spinny carnival rides - she treats them like she's going down a kiddie slide. But one of the big ones is music - specifically, what she calls "angry screaming music." She doesn't see that it is an art. It's a skill. It's not just anyone who can scream non-stop for a 3-5 minute song. It's even harder to do it set to a rhythm. Harder still to do it for a 90 minute concert.

I fucking love it. I was once discussing "Collision Course," the Jay-Z/Linkin Park collaboration album with my friend Chris.

"I dig Jay-Z I guess, but I can't stand Linkin Park," remarked Chris
"I kinda like 'em... actually, really I just like the screamy parts," I said.
"There's a fuckin' shock," he replied.

Clearly my reputation precedes me.

It's true though. I like all manner of screamers, if they can do it right. By "do it right," I mean not just scream or roar themselves into a cacophonous, incoherent fury, such as Napalm Death, or a lot of death metal, for that matter. Chester Bennington of LP, while his band is kind of lame, gets a pass for being a truly outstanding screamer. I like those who can actually use the scream as an instrument, to play off of the harmonies in the song. I realize that Mrs. TK is never going to appreciate it, because she doesn't like the music type in general... hell, none of my friends really do (which is why Boo and I need to spend an evening getting hammered and talking about metal some time). But I like punishing guitar chords with a wailing lead and pounding, rapid-fire double bass drums and yes, a good screamer layered on top of that. One of my favorite things? Bands with two singers, so they can do that "one guy screaming/one guy singing" thing, a la Thursday's "War All The Time" album.

Thursday, incidentally, is what the kids and the Wikipedia folks call an "emo-core" or "screamo" (one of the most hysterically funny tags ever) band. They're terribly earnest and have really angsty lyrics like:

"Rupture the wall around my heart
I feel so lost,
I've been shaking, you can't save me"

I know, right? Terribly cheesy. But I forgive all of this, because right at the beginning of that verse, when lead singer Geoff Rickly begins to tearfully sing out "Rupture..." another band-mate screams out "RUPTURE!!!" simultaneously and it just fucking... works. It's almost beautiful. For the record, I'm not talking about your regular, Metallica-esque heavy metal shouting, or just singing real loud. I'm talking screaming. Like, borderline agony screaming. I know it sounds weird but I'm telling you - there's a certain magic to it.

So. With that excessively lengthy introduction, here are some of my favorite screamers.

Faith No More: "Cuckoo for Caca," from King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime (Mike Patton is a master of vocal gymnastics - a beautiful voice with a stellar scream mixed in)



Thursday: "For the Workforce, Drowning," from War All The Time


The Dillinger Escape Plan: "Milk Lizard," from Ire Works


From Autumn to Ashes: "Pioneers," from Holding a Wolf by the Ears (Another brilliant entry in the "one guy screaming/one guy singing" sub- sub- sub-genre)


Maylene and the Sons of Disaster: "Darkest of Kin," from II (Ervie and I saw these guys open for Clutch, and they are damn impressive live)


The Hope Conspiracy: "They Know Not," from Death Knows Your Name


Linkin Park: "Faint," from Meteora (I know, OK? I know. But I'm telling you, this dude is a near-pantheon screamer)


Flyleaf: "I'm So Sick," from Flyleaf (incidentally, this album is a massive disappointment, and this is the only screamy song. I was furious. But still, this song kind of rocks).


Bad Brains: "Banned in D.C.," from Rock for Light


Marilyn Manson: "Rock is Dead," from Mechanical Animals (say what you will about these guys, but they know how to entertain and he knows how to scream)


Murder By Death, "Devil in Mexico," from Who Will Survive and What Will Be Left of Them?
(interestingly, this isn't a metal or hardcore band, and they rarely scream. But when they do, such as in the end of this song? Chills, I tell you. Sadly, I couldn't find a video.)

Nine Inch Nails: "Happiness in Slavery," from Broken (the grand master, never to be replaced: Trent Reznor)


Hope you've enjoyed. Scream 'til that shit hurts, people. That's when you know you're doing it right.

"Never trust a big butt and a smile"

Party scene: Some place near a beach/pool with a large dance floor during the summer because let’s face it, people are in better moods in the summertime.

Party drinks: Kegs of Bell’s Oberon and shots of Absolut Pear Vodka

Cut to the portion of the party where everyone is nice and drunk and ready to make fools of themselves. With my group of friends and me, this point would happen about 30-minutes into the start of the party. When people are drunk, their taste in music drops and loving Hall and Oates is a thing you can share openly.

Music: We’ll start with the good stuff, the point where people haven’t started dancing yet:

Jamie Lidell – Hurricane
Yoav – Club Thing
The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name
Black Kids – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You (video below)
LCD Soundsystem – Daft Punk Is Playing At My House
Daft Punk – Touch It/Technologic

OK, and now here’s the really good stuff. Dancing, singing and drunkeness is happening all around at this point. WARNING – Busting out some of the following music while sober may result in deep deep shame:

Michael Jackson – P.Y.T. or The Way You Make Me Feel
George Michael – Too Funky
Wang Chung – Dance Hall Days
Skid Row – I Remember You
Bell Biv Devoe – Poison (video below)
Positive K – I Got A Man
Journey – Don’t Stop Believing (People are starting to pass out and puke at this point)
Prince

I can’t pick just one Prince song. That would be like asking a fat person to pick just one candy bar. It’s cruel and unusual punishment. Wait, I think I just started a play list for my wedding reception. Although by the time I’m married all these songs will be long forgotten and I will be on my 12th hip replacement.

Look at these, my ruby red, ruby lips

WHERE MY BETCHES AT??!?!

You know, this might come as a bit of a shock to some people, but I want to tell you a secret: Not all women like Shitney Shears. Or Chessica Chimpson. Or Penis Hilton. Or Hariah Harey. Or Peline Pion. Hell, I hate to think even half of the women I know would like any of those "performance artists."

Yes, we like shoes. Earrings. Pink. And I might harbor a secret wish to have a life-sized doll house. But is there music out there for us gals that don't think that the soundtrack to a rom-com defines our very existence? This is my anti-rom-com manifesta!

Yes.

Let this henceforth be known as:
Female Artists That We Are Proud to Call Our Own! They Effin' Rock! or FATWAPCOOTER for short. (Funny aside: My maternal grandfather had a big doberman pinscher named Cooter.)

May I introduce you to The Bird and the Bee, Fcking Boyfriend



Please to allow Rasputina, Watch TV



Bless and protect PJ Harvey, Sheela-na-gig



I'm pleased to announce The Cardigans My Favourite Game



May 76 virgins greet you in heaven, oh most holy Cat Power Lived in Bars



My love, my very own, my precious, my dearest Portishead Over

Top Five Bands Not to Observe

I often like to go to a live show to not observe a band. I'm still paying attention, with my ears, just not my eyes. You see, I like to dance. Now I'll dance to anything. If I'm in the right mood, I'll get busted bustin' a move to the muzak when the elevator doors open while my eyes are closed in an intense Hustle send-up.

Hey, I like a observational show too. Wilco is awesome, as are the Flaming Lips. Man Or Astroman always did some terrifically silly shit. And Jack White is one hell of a performer. It's horribly ego driven, but fuck it. The stage show is amazing.

But what I really like to do is dance to live country music. This came up through the original source of this blog; TK's In Defense of Country Music. Certainly there are country shows that are worth watching intently. The Reverend Horton Heat is not to be missed for stage theatrics, nor should you pass up a Southern Culture Show. But dammit if I don't like to go to a show and spin all the girls 'til they're barfing dizzy. The thing is, the music is listenable in its own right, through the stereo. But... Oh, just read the list.

In no particular order, but for very particular reason:

Dale Watson at the Continental in Austin. You'll have better luck catching him at Ginnie's and, for Christ's sake, Ginnie's Myspace page has Watson's "Whiskey or God" on it. But the Continental is a good room for Dale. Good sized dance floor, always filled with dancers and the Lone Stars just don't stop. They taste so good poured down your gullet after rippin' it up.



Heybale at Ginnie's. This is a fun show. The place is small. Long and narrow. The band, a five piece usually, two guitar, bass, drums and a peddle steel, sets up in the back corner on the floor (no stage), right next to the back door that everyone is using to go out back for a smoke. These guys play stompin' honky tonk country music. And they do it while the drunks, me included, swing eachother into the bar, the walls, the floor and the peddle steel. They just keep playing and smiling. Find that attitude anywhere else. I went to a show at Lucky's in South Boston. Tried the same stunt and boy, did the keyboard dude turn into a real bitch about it. These guys are great.



The Derailers at the Broken Spoke. This is a great dance hall. It's big - rows and rows of big tables on either side of a central dance floor. Low stage under a very low ceiling. The boys hats risk scraping the paint. This is a place where EVERYONE dances. In fact, after most every song, lead singer/guitarist Brian Hofedt will say, "Thank ya Dancers!" This is a cultural experience. You've got Granny and Grampy mixin' it up with the rockabilly kids and little ones waltzing like you always wished you could. No bad feelings though. Dance it up, good or bad. 'Cause good or bad, it'll be a big time either way.

The next two have no particular locale in my mind. I've seen 'em. I love 'em. Regardless.

Junior Brown. You got the chance, do it. Go for the Guit-Steel (the double necked contraption that resembles Jimmy Page's double necked guitar/bass, but it's a guitar and a "pedal" steel combined. It's so confusing) but stay for the good ol' dancing tunes. Junior is a beautiful musician and deserves to be seen, but he ain't never minded being ignored for a fine young gal who needs to be swung 'round.



Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys. These guys bring out the rockabilly scenesters like no other. While this makes for a very "cool" looking venue, most often none of these douchebags can dance. They got the shirts and shoes and the bad attitude, but in the hot rod world we have a term for this: all show and no go. So fuck them, push 'em aside and move it to the smooth sounds of these good time fellas. Big Sandy will likely be in a right sharp suit and pulling from a shiny hip flask all evening.

The point of all this is that, while each and every one of these bands is a spectacle in its own right, this is not spectacle time. It's spectacular, no doubt. However, this may be why so many punk rockers turned to country in the mid 90's. A large part of punk rock was the idea of taking the star factor away from the band and giving it to the mass of people in the pit.

A good mosh pit has zero difference from a great two-stepping floor.

O Canada

How can one forgive Canada for Barenaked Ladies, Avril Lavigne and Canadian bacon?

Aside: American bacon far exceeds Canadian bacon, don’t even try to put that shit on my pizza with some pineapple because that is straight up foul. Don’t get it twisted.

They more than made up for these horrible faults by giving us some awesome music (and Degrassi Junior High).

Stars – One of my top ten bands of all time. I was instantly taken with them after hearing Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, a sweeping heartbreaking tale of lost love. Heart, Set Yourself On Fire and In Our Bedroom After the War are their three major album releases. Set Yourself on Fire was the first album I heard in a long time where it broke my heart and mended it simultaneously. Your life is seriously missing something without Stars in it. Live show rating (Lollapalooza 2006, Orpheum Theater 2007): 9 out of 10 only due to the crap venue the second time around.

Metric – One of my favorite current bands. Emily Haines carries this band with her angelic voice and sharp lyrics. Calculation Theme is the song that made me fall in love with Metric. Raw Sugar, Combat Baby and Dead Disco are other stand outs. If you want a throw back to 80’s new wave mixed with dance beats, this is it. Live show rating (First Ave. 2007): 8 out of 10 only due to the teens moshing right in front of me.

Feist – She broke out this year when the monster that is Apple used her song 1234 for their new ad campaign. Well fuck Apple because now she has become so mainstream that it makes my bones ache. Anyway, before she was Feist of Apple, she had the album Let It Die. It’s a lot more somber and laid back than The Reminder and is perfect for that lazy summer day. She does a great cover of the Bee Gees Inside and Out on it too. Live show rating (Lollapalooza 2006): 7 out of 10. Lolla was not the best place to see such a laid back act.

Arcade Fire – Another band that has slightly blown up this past year. I first heard them when the MTV2 show Subterranean showed their video for Wake Up. They caught my attention immediately because it was new. They were probably one of the first bands to light the current indie rock craze on fire. And how can you not love a band that Bowie loves? Live show rating (Roy Wilkins Auditorium 2007): 11 out of 10. This was probably one of THE best shows I have ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen a lot. They rocked the shit out of a piss poor venue and had absolutely everyone mesmorized with their stage show.

Honorable mention:

Broken Social Scene – A mish mash of extremely talented musicians. They are breaking the mold of what good music is with the help of many of the musicians I listed above.

Tegan and Sara – Sister duo with an individual sound.

Bryan Adams – For good measure, or just shits and giggles. Are Canadians still proud to claim Bryan as their own?

Who are your favorite acts from Canada?